Update
I feel so out of touch with the blogosphere. I traveled this weekend for work and was hoping to get to meet Calacirian this weekend, but didn’t get in touch soon enough. Darn it. Oh well, I’m in that area pretty often, so I’ll just meet her next time!
We are still in between churches. We found a great start up church. The vision is right up our alley in so many ways. However, there is not one kid my daughters’ ages, so we’ve been going to one church in the morning (more teens) and the other church in the evening. I always feel like I’m kind of cheating. It’s been 2 years since we left our staff position and 8 months since the home church thing blew up. I’m really feeling a desire to plug in somewhere and get settled. What DO YOU DO when you find a great church, but your kids don’t feel at home there? I’m really torn….any advice?
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well, since you asked I will throw in here. The rub you feel is the scraping of your responsibility to lead your children (teenagers) to all things that are good about Jesus–the real one. Do you sacrifice yourself for them and go where they want to go? Or do you force them with you to the church of your choice, pulling the obey your parents, we are the spiritual leaders in the home, when you leave home you can do as you please card? No need to thrwo out the pros and cons as you prob know them already. If its me I have a family meeting and hash it out heart to heart with all being gut-wrenchingly honest and open. You are right to desire the community. Can you pull it off day at one and night at another on Sundays? Perhaps, but full involvement is more difficult–youth, money, etc. Are your kids committed to really pluggin in at one of the churches or is just there preference for the Sunday service? Just some thoughts from your friendly neighborhood . . . friend.
I have the opposite problem. There are at least 3 relativley kewl churches than I’m very loosely connected with around here, and my kids fit in amazingly well in all of them, with other kids and so forth. My problem is I just can’t find motivation to actually … do the church thing whatsoever. Actually, it’s not so much of a problem, from my current perspective.
TA- You’re right. I think we are getting to the point that we have to sit down and come to some kind of decision. We can’t be fully involved in both places. Have you ever had a heart to heart with an irrational 14 year old girl? ha ha…
Benjamin,
How bout we switch places, then?
So, you and your wife aren’t really feeling a need to plug in at this point?
Actually, I can’t really talk about “my wife and me” with one stroke.
She rather wants to be … plugged in. And is, in a kewl non Sunday-Morning-Church kind of way. She goes down on Tuesday’s to a woman’s Bible study led by a very kewl pomo pastor named Renee. And it’s kewl cause there’s no sermon (read “speach“), so anyone gets to talk and I rather suspect Megs is one of the more … compassion aware, reality aware pomo, emergentish of the ladies attending, so she gets to gently draw the discussion that direction.
“Plugged in” is an interesting metaphor. I think you are using it specifically to talk about “church community”, whereas I would use it to speak more generally about community (coming from a more … psychologist/therapist perspective here, I guess). As human beings, most all of us need to be plugged in–to experience community–a sense that we know others, and that the know us, and that we have a place of belonging. I definitely think I experience that in various ways in my life right now, and I definitely *don’t* experience that to any great degree in a Sunday-Morning-Church sense, and I’m pretty much totally happy with that.
been there- so no advice- we struggled for several years with teens- the result now is that I work in one group of churches and my children ( at home ) attend two others- two to one, one to another- it is a sign of their growing maturity and a teen problem I think- one of those things to hang on and pray through….
Prayers for blessings
Sally
I feel your pain. My hubby and I and the two youngest boys just joined a small, elderly Mennonite church. My older four all attend our old church. It’s annoying, but it’s where we find ourselves because our new church home is ‘right up our alley’.
) But my olders don’t care for the music, the formal service, the old folks. *sigh* They want hip music, gourmet coffee, and flashy services. Cause afterall, that’s what Jesus had in mind for church, dontchaknow. *rollling eyes*
Oh, and I tagged you. Pretty boring stuff, but fodder for the ole blog.
will pray for you guys… that you find a fit that works for you all