Remind me again, why I love you….
Have you ever experienced the fracture of a long term friendship? It is so incredibly painful. We experienced this recently.
I’ll call my friends Fred and Jane. Reconciliation and restoration of the relationship with Fred and Jane has been our goal. Initially, there was a time where there was very little contact and it was strained when we saw each other. Next, we had a few meetings to try to “hash out” the hurt. It’s been difficult and painful to say the least.
Last Sunday, there was a birthday party for a mutual friend at a local winery. My husband was the entertainment. He plays oldies and “sing along” songs at this winery often. Fred and Jane were going to be at the party as well. We wondered what that would be like. Would it be awkward? Painful? How do we hang out and have fun, when there is still “this thing” between us? For the first few minutes, it was a bit awkward. Then I asked them to join us at our table. After a bit, Fred went up and sang a few songs with husband, just like old times. Before long, we were all laughing and having a great time.
I think I’m coming to realize something. Talking through hurt is important; we certainly can’t just shove things under the rug. However, I think that sometimes, we just need to hang out and be reminded of why we loved this person in the first place.
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Thanks for your honesty. My husband and I are in a similar situation. We’ve talked through it with the other couple, but things still aren’t the same. We don’t have the same foundation for the friendship even though we’ve forgiven each other. I’m thankful Jesus calls us to reconcile, otherwise, we’d still be hiding from each other. It’s so painful.
I can relate to your story. It was very encouraging to hear that you had a great time in spite of the ’stuff’ that has been between you. It isn’t easy and I agree it is one of the most painful things.
It is especially hard when one party wants to work things out and reconcile and the other party doesn’t want to.