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A parable of the sheep and the goats-remixed

posted:  01:04:07,  by:  morethanstone,  in categories:  Satire, Purple Politics

From the book of Religious Righteousness 25:31-46

When the Son of Man comes in his glory and all the angels with him, then he will sit on his glorious throne. All the nations will be assembled before him, and he will separate people one from another like a shepherd separates the sheep from the goats. He will put the sheep on his right and the goats in the middle. Then the king will say to those on his right, “Come, you who are blessed by my Father, inherit the kingdom prepared for you from the foundation of the world. For I was a Republican and you voted for me, I was a proponent of the marriage amendment and you supported me, I focused on the family and you invited me in, I wanted a Theocracy and you lobbied for me, I was a conservative judicial nominee and you confirmed me, I was a conservative talking head and you listened to me.”

Then the righteous will answer him, “Lord, when were you a Republican and we voted for you, or a proponent of the marriage amendment and supported you? When did you focus on the family and we invite you in, or lobby for you? When did we see you as a judicial nominee or a talking head and confirm you?” And the king will answer them, “I tell you the truth, just as you did it for one of the least of these brothers or sisters of mine, you did it for me.”

“Then he will say to those in the middle, ‘Depart from me, you accursed, into the eternal fire that has been prepared for the devil and his angels! For I was a Republican and you claimed God was neither Democrat nor Republican, I was a proponent of the marriage amendment and you wanted to talk about how to show love to the gay and lesbian community. I was focused on the family and you wanted to also talk about AIDS, wanted a Theocracy and you said ‘America is not the Kingdom of God’, a conservative judicial nominee and talking head and you did not confirm me.”

Then they too will answer, “Lord, when did we see you a Republican, a member of the moral majority, a Theocrat, a conservative judicial nominee or talking head and did not give you whatever you needed?” Then he will answer them, “I tell you the truth, just as you did not do it for one of the least of these, you did not do it for me. And these will depart into eternal punishment, but the righteous into eternal life.”

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