Thanks for your kind words. I actually cut and pasted the wrong post into the comment box. I wasn’t going to post that publicly, yet. I don’t have an email address for you but could you delete it for me? I am just not ready to share that yet. I am so sorry for the trouble. I got so little sleep last night and I am making a lot of really dumb mistakes today!

I’m going to take some time to read your blog! I love meeting people that I feel that I connect on some level with.

I completely agree with you..on every point-male domination, sexualizing the father/daughter relationship/unequality between the importance of male/female purity. arghhh.

How old are your kids?

I have always been kind of “creeped out” by this purity ball thing. I agree that purity is a good thing and so is having a good relationship with one’s father but this goes way too far, imnsho. I have 6 girls (and 4 boys) and we have talked about this concept and they would be very uncomfortable with a whole event having to do with their pledge not to have sex. That is a personal thing.

I think you nailed it when you talked about objectification and male domination over female sexuality. I wonder why they do not have mom and son events? What about the son’s purity? Is this not sending a message of a double standard? Why is the daughter pledging chastity to her father? Shouldn’t this be something that a person does in privacy; just between them and God?

I think this whole thing could be used to one’s advantage in some very unhealthy relationships. It sexualizes the father/daughter relationship.

I think father/daughter events are great but not when they are centered around the daughter’s sexuality.

Where is the mother in all this talk about sex with the daughter? I don’t see her presence in any of it.

One of the things that struck me recently was about commitment - that once we make a choice about what to commit our lives to then sex and other parts of who we are become shaped by that choice. I find it fascinating that the only way that the TV series Friends could end happily was in seeing so many of the cast in committed married relationships - that seemed to be the answer that happiness in the end = commitment.

what do you think?

Since I’m not a guy, and i don’t have any boys, I don’t know how a guy feels when they have sex. I don’t know if there are always the deeper emotional ties going on. My husband tells both my girls and I that guys can leave sex to the “physical” realm, so I guess I have to believe him.

I don’t know if this is any great answer, but it’s the only thing that I’ve known to do. My girls are questioners, and I want them to be. I want them to understand that God just doesn’t set down “rules” for us for no reason. He wants Shalom for us–shalom in the jewish sense of the word-wholeness. Purity for purity’s sake, misses the point. We can be pure and completely un-whole, if you know what I mean.

I’m jus wondering Jamie, ol Matt Henry being from a different era and the western world changing us with some much needed critique, how are you teaching your daughters? I love your misison statement to see them changing the world so how do you empower them to do so? Forget the crap of the past let’s get down to the brass tacks of the hear and now - cos like in 6 yrs i’ll be telling my son about sex and i need all the advanced thinking time i can get

Thanks for the encouragement.