More Than Stone

Oh boy. Here it comes. Another rant. I’ve just been full of them lately. It all started like this…

I was reading Molly’s many posts on women, patriarchy, male rule, and her ongoing recovery. Molly is absolutely brilliant and I encourage you to take the time to read her well thought out posts on these matters. Then, I hopped over to another favorite blog, that spoke about an article that highlighted “Purity Balls”.

I read the article with interest, but got a little creeped out towards the end of the article,

When Lauren Wilson hit adolescence, her father gave her a purity ring and a charm necklace with a tiny lock and key. Randy Wilson took the key, which he will hand over to her husband on their wedding day.

So, dad will keep the key to her locket, until Lauren’s future husband shows up. What strikes me is that we pretend that the key from the locket is the key to Lauren’s heart. But it’s not, is it? It’s the key to her mental and emotional chastity belt. Please don’t misunderstand me. I have 3 daugters and my hope, desire, and prayer is that they do not have sex until they are married. But I find it a bit sick to have a dad hold this key, and then “hand it over” to her husband, as though Lauren is simply a possession to be controlled. I don’t really have a problem with a “purity ring” or a “purity pledge”, but the “purity locket” just reeks of male domination over female sexuality. We wonder why we have so many women in the church that are hung up over sex.
NEWSFLASH

From a “purity locket” website:

It is important to properly set up the evening when you will present your daughter with the locket. Start by explaining the “covenant” part of the equation. Begin with, “Sue, thank you for this evening. It is one we both will always treasure. I want to commemorate this day and our covenant with this.” Then open the jewelry box and let the gold do the talking for just a moment. Then say, “This locket is handmade from precious metal - just the way God made you. This locket and what it stands for is the sentinel of your heart. (READ:vagina) Here’s why: from this day forward you will wear this locket as often as you wish. It will send the statement that you are waiting for your husband. It is more than that though, Sue. It has a lock on it. It can only be opened with this key. I will guard the key until your wedding. On that day, I will present the key to my little girl’s heart to your husband. He will take the key and open the locket, the only one ever to do so.”

Now, I want to be fair, so I will include this part of the website.

DO’s AND Don’ts
# Do let your daughter know this is not a setup process to “ostracize” her if she slips up sometime in her life.
# Do let her know how unconditional love applies from both you and God throughout her life - both now and always.
# Do let her know that all decisions have consequences and the past is irrevocable.

“We love you. Unconditionally. But remember, if you screw up, it is irrevocable.” Excuse me, but WHAT THE HELL????

As I was doing an internet search on purity lockets, I somehow came across another website that sells a line of dolls with the following vision.

The Beautiful Girlhood Collection aspires, by the grace of God, to encourage the rebuilding of a culture of virtuous womanhood. In a world that frowns on femininity, that minimizes motherhood, and that belittles the beauty of being a true woman of God, we dare to believe that the biblical vision for girlhood is a glorious vision. It is, in fact — a beautiful vision. It is a vision for purity and contentment, for faith and fortitude, for enthusiasm and industry, for heritage and home, and for joy and friendship. It is a vision so bright and so wonderful that it must be boldly proclaimed. We are here to proclaim it.

Note that purity and contentment are the first things that are listed. Way at the bottom of the list, we have joy and perhaps if you behave, your husband may let you have a friend or two. One of the dolls sold on this website is called “The Liberty Doll” —HA!

When a girl plays with a doll, she is preparing to be a mommy someday. Her first role model is her own mother, and her first opportunity at role-playing is with her dolls. With this in mind, we are pleased to offer the Liberty doll for your girls to cherish for years to come and then pass onto a future daughter.

Again, please understand me. I am NOT opposed to motherhood! Being a mother to my 3 daughters has been one of the most fulfilling things I have ever done. I value and cherish the fact that I was able to stay home with them. In fact, we made many sacrifices so that I could be a stay at home mom. I believe that being a mother is one of the most empowering things that we do, as women. BUT–this whole idea, purity lockets, teaching girls that the most important thing is that they are pure, content and industrious at home….it’s wrong. We are missing the point. I want to teach my daughters that they are STRONG, EMPOWERED FOLLOWERS OF JESUS. That THEY can change the world. That God intends for them to play a role in the REDEMPTION of the world, and that the role goes beyond learning to stay pure and bake cookies (though purity and cookies are great concepts).

Perhaps if we taught our girls to be strong, empowered women, we wouldn’t have as much of the game playing and posturing that we find among so many women in the church. Molly has a facinating post entitled: Matthew Henry on Women. Please take the time to read the whole thing, but I want to steal a bit of it here.

Matthew Henry, on Genesis 3, states:

Though perfect in her kind, yet we may suppose her inferior to Adam in knowledge, and strength, and presence of mind…. Observe here how mercy is mixed with wrath in this sentence. The woman shall have sorrow, but it shall be in bringing forth children, and the sorrow shall be forgotten for joy that a child is born, Jn. 16:21. She shall be subject, but it shall be to her own husband that loves her, not to a stranger, or an enemy: the sentence was not a curse, to bring her to ruin, but a chastisement, to bring her to repentance.

To which, Molly states:

Repentance? See, this really confuses me, because it appears that female subjection is never taken away, so bringing her into repentance does…what? Repentance so that she might live meekly under a curse that is never lifted? I’m not sure I understand. With Fatherly discipline, one would see repentance and the discipline would be lifted. But, it would seem to these theologians (again, if I’m understanding them correctly), the punishment of Eve never ends. The best one can do is to bear it patiently with meekness, for being born female is to be born under a special sentance that the Cross could not fully atone for.

BRILLIANT. Just brilliant. A special sentence that the Cross can not fully atone for. We teach our daughters that women are under a curse that the cross did not/will not atone for.