More Than Stone

Here we go. My eldest daughter, 18, is moving out. She has found an adorable studio apartment and will be signing the lease this weekend. Of course, I have mixed emotions. I am excited for her. I am scared. I am sad. I can’t really fathom her living somewhere else. Over my years of parenting, I have heard so many parents say that they were happy and relieved when their 18 year old went away to college, or moved into a dorm or apartment. That there was just too much conflict between the child and parent. I do not feel that way. I’m just beginning to cross over that boundary that my daughter and I relate more and more like equals and less and less like parent and child. I’m enjoying it. If there was a time that I would have preferred she moved out to avoid conflict, it would have been when she was 15. Of course, I think that’s against the law.

She will only be a few miles away, so I should consider myself fortunate that she’s not in a college halfway across the country, or as several of her friends, IN another country. But call me selfish; I will miss her coming home every night and recounting her day. She’s an avid and humorous storyteller. She can make the most mundane event entertaining. In fact, I’m certain that her new venture of independence will yield mountains of great stories.

Since my children are all 2 years apart, I knew that once the first one left home, (even if she did come back), that it would be with head spinning speed that the others would follow. We will be making trips this spring to universities for my middle child. My youngest is now a freshman in High School. Yep. Head spinning speed. My husband I will turn around one day very soon to find an empty house. When my children were small, my husband and I would “fantasize” about the empty nest years. “Won’t it be wonderful,” we would say to each other, “to have the house clean and to be able to do what we want. Won’t it be nice to
Sleep through the night,
Not change diapers;
Not have to potty train,
Not have to carpool,
Not have activities and clubs and games to keep track of,
Not have teachers telling us that our daughters talk too much in class,
Not have to ground anyone,
Not have to deal with the drama that only middle school girls can engage in,
Not have to consider whether we should buy stock in Kotex,
Not have to worry about nose piercing,
Not have to worry about 16 year olds driving,
Not have to worry about boys and dating.”

Well, now that I’m staring it in the face, I’m not sure it will be nice. It might be quiet. But nice…. I’m not so sure.